The Office Punka Wallah

Spring in DC is a fickle season. One day it’s cold and rainy and the next it’s mid-summer hot. Today was of the sneaky hot variety and temperatures around town hovered in the mid-eighties.

Coincidentally, my firm was hosting a large group in our conference room – a room notorious for its impossibly bad ventilation. This got a few of us talking about last-resort cooling systems, which reminded me of punka wallahs.

For those of you unfamiliar with punka wallahs, they were manual fan operators particularly popular in Raj India. The punka is a large, overhead, swinging fan and the wallah its power source.

It’s not so difficult to imagine Victorian British at dinner in their Bungalow, dressed to the nines, with a grumpy, mustachioed coolie sitting to the side, pulling the cord for their luxurious fan.

After losing myself in a Siege of Krishnapur fantasy, I returned to earth with this rather solid idea for the office. Let’s hire an intern and get them a pullin’. There is no reason they couldn’t answer the phones with one hand and power the conference room punka with the other – common sense if I say so myself.

So, if you’re looking for a summer internship with a Washington PR firm, or know someone who is, I have a “unique opportunity” for you.

A New Chapter

And back to Capitol Hill… I have little interest in changing the title of the blog but I returned to Washington two months ago. My time abroad already seems like a far-off moment tucked into a photo album. I have traded rickshaws for the DC metro and dumpling houses for Five Guys’ burgers.

If Washington was my far off, exotic adventure, and not home, what a destination it would be. The city is simply magnificent. Spring has come, with it Cherry Blossoms and a burst of activity on the Mall. L’Enfant’s elegant avenues are infested with tourists but this year I don’t seem to mind the plague.

To watch a 10 year old boy look onto the Capitol or the Lincoln Memorial for the first time will get you if you’re not careful. I suppose a little flag waving isn’t such a bad thing.

So, I’m going to begin writing again. I’m going to give Washington the same attention I gave Bangalore, Hong Kong or Taipei.

It’s good to be back.

The cause of the Civil War

Somehow, someway Americans still debate the cause of our Civil War, or ,more precisely, why the South seceded. I'm shocked every time I engage in this debate that the cause is debatable at all. With 2011 the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the war, I think it's a worthwhile investment for folks to brush up on their history. Not everyone is expected to pick up Shelby Foote, James McPherson or Michael Sahara but there are "cliff notes" available on the war that I think are worth a read. The Washington Post has produced some great content as it covers this momentous anniversary. For example, the Post is tweeting the war, producing short historical quizzes and offering smart briefs such as, "Five myths about why the South seceded."

So if you do have any lingering questions about why the South seceded look no further. From the Post:

"On Dec. 24, 1860, delegates at South Carolina's secession convention adopted a 'Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union.' It noted 'an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery' and protested that Northern states had failed to 'fulfill their constitutional obligations' by interfering with the return of fugitive slaves to bondage. Slavery, not states' rights, birthed the Civil War.

"South Carolina was further upset that New York no longer allowed 'slavery transit.' In the past, if Charleston gentry wanted to spend August in the Hamptons, they could bring their cook along. No longer -- and South Carolina's delegates were outraged. In addition, they objected that New England states let black men vote and tolerated abolitionist societies. According to South Carolina, states should not have the right to let their citizens assemble and speak freely when what they said threatened slavery.

"Other seceding states echoed South Carolina. 'Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery -- the greatest material interest of the world,' proclaimed Mississippi in its own secession declaration, passed Jan. 9, 1861. 'Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of the commerce of the earth. . . . A blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization.'"

Poland or Virginia?

This post is a quick break from the normal routine but I think you will find it interesting. The Economist has produced a new interactive map that compares the GDPs and populations of U.S. states to countries around the world. This might sound a little geeky but it's a hell of a lot of fun to play with.

So a few quick stats. California has the world's 8th largest economy, just behind Italy's but a notch above Brazil's. Virginia's economy is about the same as Poland, West Virginia is neck and neck with Iraq and Mississippi is running tight with Bangladesh -- that sounds about right.

Anyway, I highly recommend a visit. You just might be surprised with what you find.

Check it out here.

Swing and a miss

Everybody likes buzz words. You certainly don't need to be a marketing or advertising pro to use them. However, familiarity with the language you hope to employ them in can be useful. I give you Taiwanese branding gone awry -- part 1.


There are so many signs like this throughout the city I rarely go a block without laughing. The misspelled or confused English language sign in Taiwan is the tribal or Asian character tattoo in the states. Just priceless.

Welcome home and good morning

For the next month I'm calling apartment 280 on the fourth floor home. What the address of the building is, I have no idea. The hallway outside the door smells exactly like the Daoist and Taoist temples I have visited here. I sometimes leave the door cracked to let that spicy incense smell waft in and overtake the place. I always hope foreign locals have uniquely exotic smells. So far, I haven't been disappointed.

The door to the apartment has some kind of blessing taped onto it to keep evil spirits away. I rather like the Chinese characters even though I have no idea what they mean. But alas, a lot of things are fuzzy here. While I spend 90% of my day confused the Taiwanese are little confused themselves.

No one here speaks fluent English. If you're lucky you might find someone who can sputter out a few phrases but that hasn't stopped the Taiwanese from integrating some English into the their lexicon. Not surprisingly, this has gone terribly wrong.

No matter the time of day, you are greeted by "good morning." Apparently, everyone thinks it means "hello." Walk into a convenience store at 4:30 pm and it's a bow and "good morning." Walk into a bar at 10:30 pm and the bartender is sure to offer a "good morning." I have to bite my tongue every time. You can't help but want to laugh; but attempted cultural immersion means going with the flow. Taking Jessie's lead, I have learned to sling it right back. So no matter what time it is for you, a very good morning.